Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is now less than a week away.  This morning as I was feeding one of the boys I was watching GMA.  They ran a section asking who you are thankful for this Thanksgiving.  The idea was to pick someone who maybe you haven’t ever really bothered to thank or maybe who you haven’t thanked enough.  You can go here to read about it.

So I thought about who I would most like to thank this year.  My list is long because so many people have given so much to me this year.  My mom and mother-in-law took turns living with us for over a month to help out with the boys.  My doctor was absolutely amazing.  We came in contact with so many wonderful nurses, both when the boys were born and when Emory had his surgery.  We have so many friends who gave us gifts and came to see the boys.  And of course there is Nathan.  Where in the world would I actually start in thanking my husband for loving me and caring for me this entire year while I was pregnant and then after the pregnancy.

But I have thanked all of those people.  I am pretty good about being thankful and making sure I express my thanks on many occasions.

It didn’t take long for me to come to my decision on who I would write about if I posted at the GMA website.  I would post about my brother.

My brother is an amazing man.  And if I were to try to be serious and thank him in person he would brush me off.  He probably won’t ever read this, but if he does I want him to know some things.

I don’t think most people give my brother enough credit.  He is incredibly smart and has an amazing way of seeing things logically.  We don’t always get along.  We irritate the crap out of each other sometimes.  We even get mad at each other.  But I don’t think it really changes anything.  We get over it and move on.  I really enjoy talking to my brother.  But I only like to talk to him when it is just us, one on one.  When it is just us he doesn’t get defensive.  It is in these moments that the true beauty of my brother shines through.

We can talk about all kinds of topics.  We can share our thoughts and opinions and ideas and agree to disagree.  He will really listen to me and I him.  I wish that everyone could see my brother the way that I see him.  But you have see him with an open mind and heart.  My brother didn’t go to college.  Sometimes he is kind of rough around the edges.  He wears overalls and work boots.  He shaves his head because he prefers to be bald.  He smokes and drinks, although he doesn’t drink as much as he used to.  He can be cynical and sarcastic.

But if you get to know him you realize that those things are only part of who he is.  He is smart.  He can do math in his head faster than anyone I know.  And I am not talking simple addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.  He views things with logic.  He questions things.  He doesn’t blindly follow.  He is open-minded and views things from all angles and then makes up his mind.  He has great ideas.  But he doesn’t always share them because he thinks people don’t listen to him.  He is strong minded and is not easily swayed.  He does what he thinks is right, regardless of what others may think of him.  He doesn’t care what other people say about him because he is secure in who he is.

And he is kind.  He is loving.  He will do things for people even if he doesn’t want to.  He played Taps at my grandfather’s funeral.  I don’t know how he did it.  It was beautiful.  It was his tribute to our grandfather, something only he could do.  That moment is one of the ones that make me most proud of my brother.  He is a great uncle to the boys.  He holds them and plays with them.  He feeds and burps them.  He is so gentle and loving with them.  He won’t change a diaper but if he had to he would.  He offered to take care of Dean when we were at the hospital with Emory.  He had never taken care of either of them by himself, but he is their uncle and he would do it, even if he had to change a diaper!  He doesn’t like them to cry and will walk them and cry back at them to get them to stop and maybe smile.  It is his way and it is incredibly effective.

We asked him to be the legal guardian to the boys if something happened to us.  I think some people may be surprised by that.  But he would be a care giver.  He would do anything and everything to raise the boys in a way we would want them to be raised.  They would want for nothing and he would love them unconditionally.

No, my brother isn’t perfect.  But that is okay because I wouldn’t want him to be anything other than he is.

So on this Thanksgiving, I want to thank my brother.  I want to thank him for all he has ever done and all he will do in the future.  I am a better person because of my brother.  I hope that he knows how much I love him.  And I hope that even if he thinks no one else will listen to him, that I will.  I want to know what he thinks and I want to hear what he has to say.  We might not always agree but I don’t know anyone who agrees on everything all the time.