Whenever we figure out a new piece of our crazy puzzle I spend a bit of time obsessing. For example, when Dean was diagnosed with autism I watched him like a hawk. I realized he would have these “slips” or “slides” where he would be more autistic in nature and would be harder to reach. And then after a few days it was like he emerged or “woke up” and suddenly he had all these new skills. He would take a huge leap forward. I would always worry during those “slips”. Now I know what they are and what to expect and we just keep on going like nothing is different. But I was pretty obsessive about autism for a few months early last year.
Now we have this whole new Sensory Processing Disorder thing. I have something totally new to be obsessive about. And instead of only having one kid to obsess about I have two because they both have it. Emory has it worse and in a much more traditional and very text book obvious way. So he is easier to focus on. He is also the one who is having a harder time living life right now and I spend most of my “worry time” on him.
He had a big melt down at school on Friday. I had warned the school at drop off that he was on overload. When I picked up his teacher told me she had never seen him like he was that day. She said it was like he was at maximum capacity and just couldn’t tolerate anything. At one point they were playing with trains and it was time to clean them up and he wasn’t ready for the transition and couldn’t handle it and he jumped up and stood in the middle of the room and screamed. He has never done that at school before. I have seen it many times.
I was hoping they would both be able to reset over the weekend. Saturday was much better and I was thinking we were over the worst with Emory. But then today happened. I am not sure what set him off today. That is the problem with SPD…it could be anything or everything. It could be something internal like his immune system or it could be something external like the weather. It could be something I have control over or something that I have no control over. It is a complete and total crap shoot and we just have to try and manage it.
Today sucked for Emory. Everything was too much and upsetting. I knew it was going to be bad when he spent almost 30 minutes swinging at my parent’s house…the swinging motion is HUGE for a sensory seeking SPD kid like Emory who is trying to get sensory input into his system. He had no tolerance for Dean. He wanted to be held but not be touched. Nap was long but not restful. And now, it is bedtime but neither of them are sleeping well. And honestly I think it is the weather. We are having a huge wind storm. The wind is crazy high tonight…20mph with gusts well over 40mph. A bad night of sleep means a hard day tomorrow.
At least now I understand what it all means. Before I knew what was happening, I just didn’t know WHY. Now I know why. The how to fix it is the next step and we are working on that part. Until then….we muddle through and I obsess about it all…it is one thing I am pretty good at.
