So yesterday was Thanksgiving.  Today was the day after.

I am busy shopping on line for the boys.

I just don’t feel very interested in blogging right now.  Maybe tomorrow.

Cougar Town!

Have you watched this new sitcom with Courtney Cox?

HOLY GEEZE it is funny.  We DVR it and I even got Nathan hooked on it.  We actually have to pause it because we are laughing so hard and miss things.

I love it!

We have arrived to Thanksgiving Week.  I have a hard time deciding if Thanksgiving or Christmas is my favorite holiday.  Maybe I love them equally and I completely enjoy the time period between the two holidays.

This will be a busy week.  Nathan has one and a half days of work.  The floor people are coming to fix our floor on Wednesday.  And then of course Thanksgiving is Thursday.  Friday I will begin decorating.

I know this week will slip by so quickly.  I want it to creep by so I can savor and enjoy every wonderful moment.  My goal this week is to really take time to make myself take a step back and slow down.  I purposefully savor the moments.

We typically go to my childhood church service on Thursday morning before we go to my Aunt’s house for Thanksgiving lunch.  I doubt we will make it to church this year.  The service starts at 10am and that is right in the middle of nap time.  We cannot forego the one nap the boys take a day, especially since it will be a busy day and they will probably not get to bed on time.  It makes me a little sad but next year we should be able to go.  And while I enjoy this tradition the needs of the boys have to come first right now.

I have some posts planned for the week.  I want to reflect on some of the many things I am thankful for.  I also have some pictures and video I wish to share.  And I am taking part in a fun holiday activity that I am ready to share.

I hope that for all of you who are celebrating Thanksgiving this week, you have a wonderful week full of memories and family and friends.  I am so thankful for all of you who read and comment…even when I am not very good at getting back with you!

Tonight while we were feeding the boys I mentioned to Nathan that I needed to “google” something later.  (When it comes to searching for things on the internet I only google.)

Emory swallowed his bite of food and said, “goooooo – gul”.

We laughed.  We asked him to say Google again and he did.  He did it several times this evening.  Then he walked around the living room saying “goo”  ”goo” over and over again.

I think this is totally funny.  How ironic would it be for my son’s first actual word to be google?  I spend ALOT of time on the computer.  The boys love the lap top.  And for Emory’s actual first word to be computer and internet related is just too funny to me.  Maybe most of the humor is lost here because most of you don’t know me in real life.  But I can promise you that my family will see the humor in this!

We will see if he says it tomorrow or just thought it was a fun sound to say!

Last night I jogged 3 blocks!  That is up one block from my last update on jogging.

But even better?

I discovered that my iPod has a stop watch on it and that a simple click of the middle button puts a marker on it.  So I can push the button when I start my jogging and then push it again when I stop jogging.  This way I can keep up with how many minutes I am actually jogging.  I think that I like this better than adding blocks.

My goal is to jog 30 seconds longer each night.  That doesn’t seem like alot but in a mere 4 nights I will have added 2 minutes to my total jog time.  Once again, it doesn’t seem like alot, but for me it is huge.  My 3 blocks last night was about 2 minutes and 30 seconds.  That isn’t much but it is so much better than a month ago.

I am feeling stronger and feeling better about myself.  I have a long way to go but I will get there…even if it is only 30 seconds at a time!

I was getting the bedtime bottles ready when Emory decided to finish “brushing” his teeth in the hall outside the bathroom.

I wasn’t paying attention to him because Nathan was taking care of getting the ready for bath time.

Then I heard Nathan say, “Wow that is alot of slobber.”  (They tend to drool ALOT when they brush their teeth.  It literally runs down Emory body like like your turned on the faucet.)

I was leaving the kitchen to put the bottles on the sofa and saw what Nathan saw.  I knew there was WAY to much liquid on the floor to be spit.  I knew immediately he had peed on the floor (thank goodness for the wood floors AGAIN).

At the same exact moment I watched Emory bend down and start swishing his hands in it and quite enjoying playing in it.  He loves water and to him this was just water on the floor.  Nathan got to him right as he got down to actually lick it.  (At Ava’s birthday party a couple of weekends ago there was water on the ground and he wanted to taste it.  He loves water.  He actually got down on the ground and started licking the concrete before I could get to him.)

All I could do was laugh at Emory and at Nathan.  To think he thought our son could actually drool enough to make a huge puddle on the floor.  Just too funny!

The boys have decided to drop a second nap.  Try as we might they just won’t take an afternoon nap.  Their only nap is quite reliable.  They nap everyday from 9am until 11am or 12 pm.  I am assured of a 2-3 hour nap.  But then when we try the afternoon nap around 3pm they fuss and play and never fall asleep.

But I don’t think they are ready for only one nap a day.  They have been so cranky and down right annoying lately.  They fuss and whine and throw fits.  It is clear that they are tired and need more sleep.

So, I moved back bed time.  If there isn’t going to be an afternoon nap then bedtime is now 6pm instead of 7pm.  We have been doing this for several nights now and it seems to be getting a little better.  And they don’t even seem to notice it is an hour earlier.  They are tired and go right to sleep and even sleep a little later in the morning than usual.  I would love for a solid 12 hours at night instead of only 10.  I think it would really help them.  We are getting there.

The boys need me.  They need me a tiny amount less than they needed me last year at this time.  This year they can move around on their own and hold their own bottles.  But that is about it.  Life without me would be bad.

But last night as Dean laid his head on me and fell back to sleep I realized just how much I need them.  Never before had I thought about my need for them.  My life is focused on their needs.  But as my baby snuggled against me last night I realized that I am pretty sure I would stop breathing if one of them was missing my from life.

I need their smiles and giggles.  I need their hugs.  I need to watch Dean find the most microscopic piece of dirt on the floor and inspect it then eat it.  I need to watch Emory lick water off Carole’s concrete patio (an actual incident that took place at Ava’s birthday party last Saturday).  I need Dean to cling to me as though his whole world will crash down if he lets go.  I need to watch Emory carry one gold fish cracker in each hand while he crunches one with his teeth in his mouth.  I need to watch Dean carry around one gold fish cracker that he licks for 5 minutes before deciding it is too soggy so he promptly drops it and comes to me for another one.  The are so many things that I need from them.

Sometimes as I crawl into bed at night this intense longing grips me.  I have to fight the pull to get out of bed and get one of the boys and cuddle them close to me in bed.  I need to feel their soft baby skin and hear their soft breath.  I need to smell their baby smell and feel a small body pressed against mine.  It seems like when the feeling is most intense we end up with one of the boys in bed.  It is like they know that I am needing them and because of that one of them needs me more than normal.  Maybe it is some mother-child connection that we have.  Last night was one of those nights.  Dean woke up screaming at about 10pm.  Nathan got him and he immediately crawled to me, laid his head down, and fell right to sleep.  He stayed with us for about an hour and a half.  Then he got a little restless and Nathan took him back to his crib and he slept soundly the rest of the night.

I guess we just needed each other last night for a little while.

The scary part about this need?  One day, when they are 10 or 14 or 17, they won’t need me as much anymore.  But I am pretty sure my need for them will never diminish.  I am sure that my need for them will only grow the longer I know them.  And while I love to watch them grow up and discover new things and become more independent, suddenly I am faced with this new knowledge of how much I need them.  And it makes me feel a little sad to see them grow up.  Because I know that one day they won’t need me like I need them.

But I won’t worry about it quite yet.  For now they need me as much as I need them and I will store away every single memory and feeling I can so that one day when they don’t need me so much I can remember when they did.

Awhile back I posted that I had started jogging.  I could jog one whole block.  Nathan laughed.  I felt like it was a huge accomplishment.  I was sidelined for about the last two weeks.  First I was kind of sickly and coughing and such and then I had a headache that lasted 5 days and blah blah blah.

But this week I have been back on track walking and jogging and feeling good.  I am happy to say that I am up to two blocks!  Not two blocks straight but two blocks during my nightly 30-40 minute walk.  I jog one block and I don’t feel like dropping dead in the street.  I walk fast for another block and then I jog the next block.  After that block I feel like falling down in the street.  But I don’t.  I keep going and finish my walk.

It feels good.  It feels like accomplishment.  I feel stronger.  I know I am stronger because I can see proof of it as I can jog longer and increase my distance every few nights.  I am going to win this battle with myself.

That about sums up how I feel right now…